Florida

Going to Florida was an even worse idea than I thought it would be. I completely fucked up and abandoned my diet plan almost as soon as we got there. seriously. I ate four blueberrry muffins just on the drive there. I basically binged for two straight weeks with cookies, goldfish, pizza, more god damn muffins. And even worse: people noticed how much I was eating. But I couldn't stop. And my aunt wouldn't let me purge. I have never felt something so bad. I have never binged and not been able to purge. She said she would rather I starve because she was wasting money on buying me food that I was just going to throw up. She pysically blocked me from the bathroom. I threw up in the bushes outside when I went to "take a walk". I had horrible heart burn for most of the last week and it kept me up for a lot of the night. I feel so fat. I can't breathe.